Praise God! And be aware of it!

Praise God! He has shown his love in such powerful ways that I could never have hoped for. I have to write about it, declare it publicly and unashamed because it is just that amazing.

Throughout my life, the main things that I prayed for in my desperation were these:

1. To have someone that understands me.
2. To have someone, not just family, that loves me regardless of what they find out about me or who I am. Not that family is unimportant or insufficient, but I felt like, in order to know that I could be loved, it couldn't be a family member.
3. To be loved "specially" -- in other words, to not just be placed in a group of people that one person loves, but to be special to them. Even in high school, I never prayed that it had to be a boyfriend (although that would have been nice). I just wanted love.

Years went by. Years of pain and struggles and dark feelings of isolation. I never lost faith because I believed that everything would work somehow for good. But in the meantime, as my emotional/mental health began to dwindle, I seriously doubted whether God would ever decide that I needed to have those sorts of people in my life. I seriously doubted whether he cared if I was happy.

And now, suddenly, it's happened all at once. I have multiple people that love me and accept me, no matter what. I mean, it's almost overwhelming. All those prayers came true. And I'm not healed -- it's not like everything's better -- but those three God decided to answer.

Maybe You Didn't Meet an Angel

I hear people say, "I met an angel today" or "God sent me an angel." Sometimes they describe a friend, someone that they know, as an angel. And while I definitely believe in angels, and of course often times they're right, I feel like there's something huge that these people aren't grasping:

Maybe they didn't meet an angel; maybe it was, kind of, maybe sort of... you know... the Holy Spirit in an ordinary human being.

The thing is, I think sometimes people underestimate Christians as active pieces in God's plan to help others. And when they meet someone especially spectacular, their first thought is that he or she is an angel. Because obviously no human would be that kind. No human would be able to understand and know this or that.

There are angels in the Old Testament and in the New Testament. They are still here now, too. But the thing is, when Jesus came down and died for our sins, he didn't promise to send angels to help us. He did more than that. He sent Himself, in the form of the Holy Spirit (John 16). The Holy Spirit resides inside Christians, guiding them, and sometimes the Spirit teaches them/us what to say (Luke 12). I've seen that this doesn't just mean that Christians only say what they know. Sometimes the Holy Spirit guides us to say or do things for reasons that we don't quite understand.

As my professor would say: does that make sense? Wherever you go, kindness or insightfulness isn't just found in angels. It can be found in everyday, imperfect Christians who are influenced by the Holy Spirit. How great is that? We don't just have angels helping us. We have GOD. Right there, in other people and in our own hearts.

As a side-note, this is a quote from Frederick Buechner: "Angels are powerful spirits whom God sends into the world to wish us well. Since we don't expect to see them, we don't. An angel spreads its glittering wings over us, and we say things like, 'It was one of those days that made you feel good just to be alive,' or... 'I don't know where I ever found the courage.'"